Life After Retirement

Maybe it's just me, and usually it is.

This guy parks next to me at Albertsons Grocery. He is wearing a shirt that reads, "I'm retired; this is the way I dress." People wear shirts with stuff on them for a reason. This guy was trying to draw attention or excuse his appearance. 

Being who I am, I approached him in my blue jeans, gray t-shirt, unbuttoned button shirt, and said, "Me too." 

We had a brief chuckle. 

"Where did you retire from?" I asked.

"The entertainment industry," he said.

"Oh really!" I said. "What did you do?"

"I was a production accountant," he said proudly.

At this point, I thought he might at least express some sort of conversational skills, and there might be a brief interchange. You know, two old guys jawing for a moment. I figure that after a lifetime of shutting up and doing your job, it's time to spout off.

So I'm going to give him his chance. "What was the last production you worked on?" (I knew he was just itching to tell me.)

By then, we were in the store. He grabbed a cart. He waited until the noise settled from dislodging his cart. "My last production was XXXXXXXX with Tom Hanks."

At this point, I'm supposed to ask, Did you meet Tom Hanks? What's he really like? Does he wear lifts? And so on, but I didn't.

Instead, I said, "I retired from a factory, Dana Corporation."

A disinterested, pathetic smile. 

"I made stub shafts."

An even more disinterested, pathetic smile. (At this time, I know my time has run out with him.)

"Anyway," I said, heading for the soft drink aisle, "every time you see a big eighteen-wheeler speeding down the highway, that may be one of mine at work." (He could never top that one.)

That's the story, but it would not be complete without relating that to my astonishment, I could not find Moxie Soda in the soft drink aisle. It's probably in automotives. Thus, I settled for a six-pack of Guinness. 

While walking to my car, I was hoping to see my production accountant buddy. I wanted to tell him how I became acquainted with Moxie Soda. And he thinks he had an exciting life.