Look Out For the Lefties

Maybe it's just me, and usually, it is. 

Years ago, I ate at a great barbecue joint. It was called Lefty’s. The owner took my money at the register. I noticed he was right-handed. 

“Why do you call this place Lefty’s when you are right-handed?” I asked.

“I bought this place from Lefty and kept the name.”

“Why don’t you name it Righty’s?”

“Lefty’s is a better name.”

I asked AI for a picture of the
famous left-handed pitcher,
Sandy Kofax. It produced him
throwing right-handed.
Could it be, he was right-handed
all along? After all, AI is smart.

  That was enough for me. I walked away enlightened, but couldn’t explain my enlightenment. Why is Lefty a better moniker than Righty?

   There’s a gaggle of athletes, (especially) baseball players, and musicians nicknamed Lefty. Lefty Gomez (baseball), Lefty O’Doul (baseball), Lefty Grove (baseball), Lefty Frizzell (Country singer and songwriter). 

Lefty is a good mobster’s name. “Hey, Boss, ya want me to go get Lefty to do the job?” Never do they get Righty. Righty would probably shoot the wrong guy and spill the beans on the whole gang.

I’m sure we’ve come across a few Lefties in our day. Ole Lefty, a reliable guy, always there when you need him, honest as the day is long, the go-to guy. 

When people speak about art, literature, and intellectualism, it is often associated with the Left Bank. What! Are all the idiots on the other side of the river?

Sure, there’s righty; righty tighty, lefty loosey, and tighty-whiteys. Good only for not stripping out bolts or holding everything in place.

Okay, there is the right-hand man, but let’s stare reality in the face; he’s there to take the blame while the Boss and Lefty are sunning in the Caymans. 

Why does marching start with the left foot? I smell a conspiracy—a left-wing conspiracy.